The Most Powerful Parenting Tip I Learned This Month: The Importance of Repair
Why do I paint my son so often?
Most of my friends, and likely every mom out there, would say it’s because he’s the center of my universe. And they’re right, but there’s more to it. It’s not just about his existence in my life or the fact that we’re incredibly close, spending so much time together. It’s also about reflection.
Painting him gives me a chance to reflect on our relationship. It allows me to look back at what’s been happening, think about how he might be feeling, question why I acted a certain way, and understand why he said what he did at a particular time. There are many moments when I feel like a terrible mom, blaming myself for not behaving differently.
Through painting, I’m able to “repair” myself first. It’s a way for me to work through my feelings and come up with better ways to handle things in the future. Once I resolve these emotions within myself, I’m better equipped to appreciate him and respond differently.
Recently, I watched a TED Talk by Dr. Becky Kennedy titled “The Single Most Important Parenting Strategy,” and it moved me to tears at 11:55. Perhaps there are unresolved issues between my mom and me that I haven’t resolved... Dr. Becky emphasizes the importance of repairing our relationships with our kids, no matter when conflicts or mistakes occur. The core message is that when problems arise between parents and children, the most important thing is to acknowledge the issue, communicate calmly, and work towards repairing the relationship.
For me, painting serves as a way to break down and understand my emotions and the “what happened” within me first, helping me repair and grow. Art has definitely been a tool in my journey as a mom.
I highly recommend listening to Becky Kennedy’s TED Talk. It might resonate with you as it did with me.
