Moments That Catch Me Off Guard

Ok, so my painting is not done yet, but while I’m still reflecting and immersed in these emotions, I thought I’d get it down on this blog. And while you're reading, I dare you to turn on the song “It Hurts Now That You’re Gone” by I Don't Like Mirrors. So far, I’ve listened to it on repeat for over two hours. That's how I like to subdue myself into the feeling while painting. Hope I can come back here tomorrow and absorb back to the feeling to continue painting this piece.

Yesterday, after a call with a friend I hadn’t talked to in a while, I felt bad. I haven’t reflected on it enough to say what exactly made me feel down after the call, but it didn’t feel right. As I was trying to dive deep into the whys while in the bath with my 3-year-old son, I couldn’t help but feel bad that I had wasted time talking to this friend when I could’ve spent that time with him.

I said, “Sorry, Kai.”

“Why, what’s wrong?” He looked at me with an expression I can’t quite explain. It was somewhere between curiosity and surprise, yet with a very concerned, soft way. It just caught me off guard because he hasn’t built up so many words, and I have NEVER heard him put those words together. I didn’t know what to say or how to explain it to him. I just said, “You know…”

And he just moved on. I did too, but with a lovely light lit up in my heart in the dark. I felt cared for by him and felt strong. It was an amazing feeling because I was able to see a glimpse of his future as a person with empathy.
Thanks, Kai.